I have a hard time understanding how a woman can be taken in hand without at least there being the possibility that her husband may spank her in order to bring her into subjection. I do not doubt that for some a taken in hand relationship does not need to include spanking. Most of us would agree there is much more to a taken in hand relationship than spanking. However, it is my opinion that most people who consider themselves taken in hand practice some form of physical discipline. The question is why?

In as much as we can all agree that the power of being dominant is dependent on the psychological and emotional connection between a man and his woman, it seems to me that a spanking remains an important part of the man's active control over her. The woman who desires to be taken in hand needs to feel his control in a physical way. A spanking is a tangible demonstration of his real authority. The pain visited on a woman's bottom has an immediate and very often deep effect on her mind and emotions. When spanked by the man who loves her, she opens to him, allowing his physical control to deeply engage her emotionally. This may not be a fair comparison, but to me a taken in hand relationship that did not include some form of physical discipline would be like living in a committed relationship without having sex. Is such a relationship possible? I do know of two couples who dearly love each other, but have sexless marriages. Would most of us want this for ourselves? I doubt it.

When a woman is taken sexually by a man who loves her and who knows how to handle her, her response is not just a physical one. As he penetrates her body, he affects her emotions too. She responds to him by thrusting toward him wanting more of him. And as her body opens to him, so do her emotions. He in turns delights in his mastery over his woman's body knowing every curve and how to make her quiver. The man who would have his way with her knows when to be forceful and when to be gentle. He knows how to use her for his pleasure, but gives back more in return. Yes, he may be able to move her with a look, but that look only makes her desire for his touch even stronger. For the woman being taken by the man she loves, is there a greater delight?

So it is when a man spanks his woman. Although it is a very different experience, with a different purpose, a similar "knowing" applies when he finds it necessary to discipline her. For some women, just the thought of this possible outcome is enough to bring her into subjection. Yet, when a determined husband takes hold of his wife, giving her the thorough spanking he thinks she deserves, most often, at some point, she will emotionally surrender to his control. And even if she is not normally submissive, she submits to his discipline feeling vulnerable and feminine. She acknowledges his mastery over her. Could the same emotional surrender happen without the spanking....perhaps. But just as in making love, where the physical and emotional intertwine, one affecting the other, so it is when a man spanks his woman. She is both excited by and comforted in the knowledge that she has a man who knows how to handle her. She knows she is his.

Yes I listen to him, and hear as well on occasion..lol..and I respond deeply to his touch. Yet the times he spanks me. Be it in 'sending a message' to simply submitting, that sting, that control and vulnerability make words unnecessary. The bond becomes unbreakable. The feeling behind the relationship is more tangible than words could ever be.

Yes I listen to him, and hear as well on occasion..lol..and I respond deeply to his touch. Yet the times he spanks me. Be it in 'sending a message' to simply submitting, that sting, that control and vulnerability make words unnecessary. The bond becomes unbreakable. The feeling behind the relationship is more tangible than words could ever be.

So, according to you, a man should be able to spank a woman regardless of how she feels about that, the woman's feelings being of no importance whatsoever. Well, some women simply aren't interested in spanking, Mr Wagner, it doesnt' do anything for them, and spanking a woman like that won't do the man or the woman any good. Then there are women like me who are only interested in being spanked when they are in the mood for it. If my husband spanks me when I'm not in the mood for it, it doesn't do me any good at all. My husband is very good at getting me in the right mood, but if I am pissed off, then no amount of spanking is going to make me feel better. He could spank me till the cows come home, it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference. To you, evidently, the woman's feelings are of no importance, forcing spanking on a woman who doesn't want it is quite all right. Spanking doesn't work for everyone, Mr Wagner, and even when it sometimes does it isn't always the solution to a problem. Furthermore, no woman actually 'deserves' to be spanked at all, spanking is something the man does to the woman if she wants him to, otherwise it's just abuse.

I don't necessarily think that a woman who is upset should be spanked until she is sorry. I think that a woman who has caused an upset to the relationship should be spanked until she is sorry IF that is how the couple has set up the relationship. That is what I wanted and what I expect. If he were to spank me for something and I were to suddenly become pissed off I'd want him to take the time to find out why, but if I was only angry because it hurt, or because I didn't feel like it right now I would expect him to continue. That being said, for me, spanking is stress relief. I can definitely go from angry or stressed out to calm in the duration of a spanking. If it doesn't have that effect on you I can see why you wouldn't want him to be free to dictate the terms of a spanking or to continue a spanking that you didn't necessarily want at the time.